Search This Blog

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

90 days down...don't know how many more I can go...

So, the past 2 weeks have been filled with ups and downs...Wow...I really don't wanna rehash old experiences. Let's just say that it's been a very trying time...And the mudslide after the storm has been that money is inexplicably missing from my check...

So, that in itself has changed the tides. I don't trust the school. The school doesn't trust me...they think I'm gonna run off and leave them without a teacher. And quite frankly, that thought has crossed my mind PLENTY of times. I just really can't stand being under appreciated. But, if I don't know but one thing from my 28 years of living, it's that you cannot make anyone value you any more than they are open, despite my best efforts, and smiley faces, I am "just" a disposable ESL teacher.

So, now, the gloves come out. I have a meeting with the owner tomorrow...he says to "revisit my contract." Haha...this is about to be a joke, but I promise you, the jokes on them! Coreans have the attitude that they can treat you any kind of way, and then in the presence of them, you're suppose to fake it like everything is ok. I am a mirror...I am trying to grow, and be more of the image that I want you to reflect--the image of Christ, but I can say with conviction, that I am not fully there yet.

So, while I am never gonna disrespect you, you will hear when I am not happy. You will hear it from my mouth, and through my actions. I am not worried though, I am confident that I will move when God says move, or stay if he says stay.

As my homegirl says, "it don't matter what we say, what you say, but what God says!" And it's so true. My sister says I may miss out on learning something about myself if I leave prematurely (of a 12 month contract). But I've already learned more about myself than before: I will not stand for any old thing. And only I determine my fate and future...I will not allow others to keep me unhappy, even if I have NO other options from other people's point of views. So, Boooyaa! LOL.

I digress...going to pray. Thanks for listening!

No comments:

Post a Comment